I love the Lord with all my heart! Something I gladly shout from the roof tops and tell all that will listen. I know that He is my Savior and that He has redeemed my soul. But there comes a time in your relationship with God that you need something from Him that you can’t earn, you can’t work through. I have hit that place. See God is growing me, He is strengthening me and He is getting me ready for the next place in my walk with Him.
I need the Lord to deliver me, to comfort me, to take away a battle that has been in my life forever. Satan continually fights me in my health. I believe God can heal me, He has done it before. He has given me 2 miracles. He saved me. But it was different when all these things happened. The healings came when other believers reached out to me. My miracles came with instructions to pray every night and He would bless me. He saved me, and my part is to live a life pleasing to Him and glorifying His name.
But this battle with health, it just keeps coming back up. Satan bombards me everytime I turn around. I get one problem taken care of and another jumps right up. I keep thinking what am I missing, what am I not doing. See I’m not worthy of Gods deliverance from this battle, I need to be faithful, I need to do as all the scriptures tell me, I need to find the exact words, I need to pray the exact amount of times, etc… I just can’t figure out what I’m missing, what does God want from me? Someone tell me what more can I do and I will gladly do it. I am willing to live for God, do for God, all that He asks of me.
So what am I missing? I’m missing the fact that God just simply wants to be God. He doesn’t need me to fight this battle, He doesn’t need me to check off a long or short list of to do’s. He simply needs me to let Him be Him. I simply need to let go of my control and allow God to be God. I’m a little OCD and I need the instructions and the lists, I need the outcome laid out for me and to know how everything works. See but God is looking for me to just simply wrap myself in Him and say its your will, your way and I trust you completely!
I’d like to sit here right now today as God speaks this to my heart and say it’s done and it’s that easy. Its simply a lot more complicated in my flesh than that. But knowing the problem is half the battle, right? So today what I will say is that I am going to begin to just let go and let God completely, without instructions, without knowing, without deserving it.
Your probably wondering why I would share this. I share because maybe someone else is sitting where I am and God is speaking to them as they read this. I share because maybe someone is reading this and they have been here and can pray for me as I go forward with God. I share because it helps me work out things in my heart!
Faith, Grace and Blessings,